What We're Trying To Ease Our Puppy’s Anxiety (Plus Our Own Puppy Blues)

Our puppy struggles with anxiety. I struggle with a lot of puppy blues as a result.

Back in November is when we first had the “official” conversation with our puppy’s vet. Our biggest comment to her was honestly that we just wanted our pup to feel safer and more excited moving through life. Back then everything from a walk to a car ride felt like we were triggering his trembles and shakes. Leaving him alone hasn’t been an option for us since we got him and his stage-5 clinging makes it hard for us to work effectively at home. We knew that nothing would change over night, but we wanted to be on a better path.

I preface all of the below to say, that this is what we’re trying either because we researched it or it was vet recommended. Depending on the level of your puppy’s anxiety, I would definitely turn to the experts first.

But, before you dive into the solution, I will share the comforting words that our vet shared with us — separation anxiety, as well as general anxiety, is going to be a normal (and honestly to be expected) with puppies right now because of COVID and the amount of time humans are now spending at home with their puppies. Find solace in that you’re not alone and others are struggling too, no matter how cute they find their dog.

We find Chaunce to be the cutest puppy in the entire world. He’s also a handful. I make the joke often that I thought I was getting an emotional support animal, but turns out he was also getting emotional support humans.

VET VISIT

The visit to the vet and being honest about the hard time we were having was what put us on the right track. We were feeling overwhelmed and if there’s one thing we’ve learned about our puppy it’s that he picks up our moods so easily, so if our starting point was anxious and overwhelmed, so was his. It was hard though to mirror the behavior he needed when we felt like “the most expert” people in our universe at the time. It was helpful (and sanity-saving) to bring in a real expert who offered us guidance, realistic expectations, and took stuff off our plate that we’d been stressing about.

BABY STEPS

The decision was made back in November to care about some stuff a lot and to care a lot less about other stuff. Since moving into our new home in October, we’d been pushing to get Chaunce to use the bathroom only outside. This proves to be extremely hard when your dog is petrified of the outside world. Our vet encouraged us to cut ourselves and him some slack. Baby steps are key when you’re helping a pup build confidence and enjoy things that once before scared him. Chauncey is amazing potty trained to go on wee-wee pads at home right now and that’s a win. Later, after we get to a better place with the general outdoors, we’ll focus on transitioning him off the wee wee pads. You’re not a bad puppy parent just because your dog can’t do everything all at once.

Anxiety medicine

Chauncey was prescribed a low dose anxiety medicine on a need-to-be-used basis. Since November we’ve maybe only used it a handful of times and almost exclusively when we’re going on a long drive. It helps calm him, but it also makes him super groggy, so we don’t turn to it often. He’s so tiny and young that his vet is hopeful that he’s young enough for us to train the anxiety out of him, which is why she didn’t go with a stronger med regimen. I would definitely turn to your vet for help on figuring out what’s best for your puppy.

ADAPTIL (~$18 for plug in, ~$12 for travel spray)

The suite of Adaptil products came recommended by our vet but you can actually pick them up on Chewy or Amazon. We tried the plug-in as well as the travel spray for the car. I think the travel spray did work a bit (and if your dog isn’t as triggered by the car, may even work a lot). We haven’t rebought after our first ones ran out, but it’s because of those baby steps I mentioned. Adaptil is an awesome complementary product to use if your puppy already has other tools to help manage their anxiety, but it doesn’t cure-all or help if your puppy is super out of it. Right now, we’re focusing on what I like calling our “foundational regimen” in order to really be able to get things like Adaptil to work.

OUR CURRENT REGIMEN FOR CHAUNCEY

CBD Treats ($20, i estimate having to buy every 4-months)

A good friend and fellow puppy mom recommended these Tonic CBD treats to me and these we turn to way more often. Any time we need him to just mellow out and relax, we give him 1/4 or half a cookie (which he loves) and it really helps get him to a safe neutral. Still his puppy self, but way less on edge. When we first started we started with 1/4 of the dog treat, just to test it out. Every puppy is different and honestly every day is different. Some days we know we need a half and other days he gets by on a fourth.

Self entertaining toys (~$24, one time purchase - buy at least 2 so you can always have one full)

We have a rotating set of kongs and other self-entertaining toys at home. Chaunce’s favorites are this Wild One that doubles as a ball, his kongs, and this new one that a friend recommended. We fill them up with peanut butter and treats, freeze them, and then offer them to him in his crate. It’s helping us slowly build up to leaving him alone (one of our bigger goals) and also encouraging him that time alone and without us is fun time for him too.

DOGGY DAYCARE (~$120-200 per month)

Doggy daycare is an important investment for all of us. It helps us, as humans, get a much needed break and it gives Chauncey the opportunity to socialize in an environment where he feels safe and taken care of. It’s also one of the ways we discussed with his vet to build up his confidence. After initial research, we ultimately tried two different daycares. The first one was great on paper, but ultimately Chauncey just wasn’t the happiest pup there. We were able to watch him through the webcams and you could tell it was doing him more harm than good. The one he’s going to now is amazing. It’s bright and colorful and everyone who works there really centers making it fun and safe for puppies, while encouraging positive behavior. I like that they reinforce basic commands (like sit and stay) so that it’s not lost upon him when he’s there and not home. We started daycare at the top of the year and by like our 4th time there, Chauncey was wagging his tail, pulling for the door, and peeing on the floor at reception out of excitement (we’re working on it). It’s so cool too to check in on the webcam and slowly see him come out of his shell. It’s helped both our morale too to see that he can in fact get better, more comfortable, and less afraid, even if it takes him a little longer.

PUPPY TRAINING ($200 for six classes)

We know what we’re good at and we know what we need help in, which is how we found our way to Wonder Puppy. Chauncey is almost 1-year old so he’s aged out of a lot of the puppy training classes. He’s also actually really good at basic commands, what we struggle with at home and outside is helping him calm down long enough to look at us and follow the commands. We signed up for Zen Puppy 1 through Wonder Puppy and are halfway through. I’m slowly starting to notice subtle improvements or him “getting” the lessons. Mostly, I like that it teaches me what I’m supposed to be teaching him. Last week we practiced deep breathing and oh my gosh, dogs are so awesome. He can now deep breath essentially on command and it is the most impressive thing. The puppy training is on zoom, so technically anyone can sign up, if you’re looking for a higher investment, but definitely long-term ROI strategy for managing anxiety, I would highly recommend Wonder Puppy.

OUR CURRENT REGIMEN FOR US

all of the above

While we center helping Chauncey feel good as the reason why we try all the things, we also do it for us. The kong treats give us some moments of peace, daycare gives us a whole day break. Puppy parenting is fun, but it’s also hard, especially in a pandemic, especially with full work and life schedules. We’re trying to simultaneously do good by him and by us.

solo self care time

I take advantage of Chauncey’s doggy daycare days to really check in with myself and give myself a break. My own anxiety is triggered by overstimulation, which when Chauncey is having a hard day doesn’t take much to cause overstimulation. I try to remember that it doesn’t make me a bad dog parent to Chauncey that his anxiety frazzles me because I have my own anxiety and mental health to cope with. It all just makes me and my boyfriend humans. Some other solo things I do: therapy, going for solo walks or dates, spending time writing, or cuddling with Chauncey during calm moments as a reminder that we got this.

date time

I miss my boyfriend lol. Honestly, it’s hard sometimes to set boundaries with our pup because of how attached he is to us. It’s helping a TON to be intentional about giving him solo time so we can have solo time too.

This is a longer post, but honestly if you’re struggling with a puppy who has anxiety issues you’re probably looking for all the information you can get. If you are struggling and you have found something that helps that I didn’t include, please comment below - I will happily take all advice lol.

But also, again, I cannot say this enough - puppies can impact our mental health in good and in hard ways. Don’t discredit how much of a number folding this four legged pup into your life can do to you. If you need your own emotional support, turn to a friend, a therapist, or resources like Crisis TextLine to remember you’re not alone.