4 Places To Turn When You Feel Like You Don’t Have Anyone To Talk To

It’s one thing to feel like you’re going through a hard time, it’s another completely different thing to feel like you’re going through that moment in time alone. Hard feelings tend to do this to us. They can lead to isolation or an “I’m the only one” mindset that makes it harder to see that there may be others who are working through the same things.

I’ve been there before and honestly find myself there sometimes now. Years ago I had that feeling surface when I lived through the loss of someone I loved, now I’m feeling it with our move. In these instances what has always helped me has been leaning on others. I don’t want answers or quick fixes, I just want to feel less lonely as I let time heal and show me the joy in right now. I also believe that it’s easier for us to see the power of our present moment when someone else who loves or cares for us holds up a mirror.

Over the last eight years, my therapist has been such a key component in my support network, but I know not everyone has the privilege of having a therapist (or simply don’t want a therapist), but still want that support. I’ve rounded up some of the other ways or places you can turn to whenever you feel like you don’t have anyone else to talk to.

AFFINITY GROUPS

Never feel like your only option is to turn to an expert in order to feel understood. Peer support groups are valuable and check a huge box that most of us have left to fill. Being able to sit in a group of people (either in person or virtually) who understand the nuances of what you’re going through, helps you validate your own process. It can help you regain a sense of trust in yourself that you’re not imagining how hard this season is or some of the very specific experiences it may bring up.

Some affinity groups that may be helpful are:

• Alcoholic Anonymous — for those who identify with the daily struggle of an addiction

• Al-Anon or Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families — if the weight on your shoulders is related to someone’s addiction (any addition, not just alcohol)

• Option B — if the weight on your shoulders is related to the death of someone you love

• Facebook Community Groups — these can be particularly helpful if you’re looking to adjust to a new city/home state after a big move

• The Mighty — if you’re looking to meet others living with a chronic illness or a mental health reality

• NAMI Support Groups — specifically for those who are needing support with mental health conditions and/or family of those individuals

These are just some specific groups that came top of mind, but other spaces that could fill the void could be creative groups, hobby groups, and church groups.

TALKSPACE

For those who are looking for a more professional support system, Talkspace is a great option. It’s immediate (a sign up away) and led by mental health professionals. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea as a long term solution for mental health support, but it could be a good interim for any and every body. What I especially love about it is that it’s text based, which allows for some privacy and convenience no matter where you’re texting from.

GROUP THERAPY SESSIONS

I’ve been to many Al-Anon meetings, but that’s the extent of my participation in a group setting. That being said, I have heard wonderful things about platforms like Real and Sesh and how they help facilitate a safe environment to meet in a group setting that serves your specific needs.

Your personal community

I know this sounds like it should have been the first place you could turn, but for many it’s simply not. I know I struggle to turn to my family or friends about my every day struggles. A lot of it is a reflection of my own insecurities about being “too much” or needing someone and being disappointed if they don’t show up. As a result, I left this one for last because I know it can be hard and takes a lot of bravery. It takes bravery to find the words to ask for help. It takes bravery to admit that maybe your immediate circle aren’t the people you can turn to even if you wanted to.

For those who believe they can, but are having a hard time finding the words to reach out for help, here are some texts I’ve used:

“Hey, I just don’t feel good today. I don’t really need solutions, I just don’t want to be alone.”

“Hey, I know I’m surrounded by so many people, but I still feel really alone. Do you think we could do this _________ together so I could feel supported?”

“I feel really shitty today. I just need help being lifted up.”

Any of the above are wonderful options to help you feel like you belong and you’re not alone in whatever you’re navigating. If you’re needing more immediate help or find yourself having suicidal thoughts, reach out to Crisis Textline (Text HOME to 741741) or the suicide prevention hotline at 800-273-8255.