Encouraging Field Notes #1

I’ve plopped my laptop on our windowsill to write this to you. I’m sitting on my pup’s bed because our couch is still not here. Today I almost cried on the phone to the customer service rep, who is most definitely not at fault for the month long delay or the deep desire in my heart to feel a little more settled in our home than I feel right now, but who got the diatribe of my frustration all the same.

Because sometimes we just can’t help it, you know? I’m trying my best out there in a world that doesn’t always meet me where I am and I know you’re trying your best too. I know you see the good in your day, just as much as you notice the bad. But, I also know it’s harder to shake the bad, especially alone.

Most times we keep the really “bad” talk buried so deeply in our head that it just keeps going bad, like sour milk dumped on more sour milk. I’m here to air it all out. You don’t suck. You’re not a bad person. You’re not unhealthy. You don’t have to torture yourself for the to-do list that didn’t get checked off or the couch that still hasn’t gotten delivered no matter how many hours you’ve spent on the phone trying to get it here. Most times the hard parts of our day aren’t a result of our input into our day, they’re just life.

It’s just difficult to see that when you’re living it.

Toxic positivity isn’t an encouraging field note. I don’t want you to pretend nothing bad ever happened to you or that nothing bad will happen tomorrow. I want you to remind yourself of the last time you went through a moment when you needed some encouraging and sit with how you navigated that.

I like that you asked me for help in lifting you up. It shows courage and self-awareness and an interest in feeling better. Not more whole, you’re already so whole. Sometimes though we need reminding that even in the suck we’re worthy of grace, patience, and a hug.

You’re worthy of grace, patience, and a hug. If I had to define grace for you right now, it’s ordering in dinner when you just can’t fathom cooking, or cooking to distract yourself from the emails that don’t stop coming in. It’s finding what fits your budget, your life at the moment, and not the comparison game in your head of what healing and self-care look like in my life or someone else’s.

You aren’t perfect, but perfection was never a prerequisite for encouragement or love, especially not self-love. If you have to earn it, the price is already more than you’ll ever be able to pay.

Today it seems like you’re looking for some reprieve. Take this as the reprieve you’re looking for and let yourself breathe.