How COVID Should Change How You Look For A Therapist

I’ve earned a reputation as the person in my circle that people come to when they want to figure out how to find a therapist. I wrote a blog post years ago that has a ton of tips around finding a therapist and what the “dating” during those beginning stages can look like. It’s been my cheatsheet link I send to friends, but it’s also been a super helpful resource that others have come across and used as they figure out starting therapy for the first time or restarting therapy after a long time.

I have to admit now that the pandemic has dated many of those suggestions. We’ve lived in a world for the last few months that has forced us to turn our homes into our offices, our gyms, and our therapy headquarters. Beyond the physical constraints, it’s also changed what we should be looking for in a therapist — instead of proximity to work, we’re having to prioritize other details instead.

We’re also left to contend with the increase in demand and the lack of supply, whether we’re talking about a new couch or a new therapist. According to studies focused on the impact COVID has had on mental health there are now 4 in 10 individuals who identify with anxiety or depression, up from 1 in 10 just a year before. And while not all of those individuals have been seeking immediate help (the time between onset of a mental health illness and seeking help could be as large as 11 years), some have and it’s made finding a therapist something that requires a game plan of sorts.

START WITH YOUR LEVEL OF NEED

If you are experiencing an extreme mental health episode and are in need of immediate help, there are options:

• National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 800-273-8255

• Crisis Textline — Text HOME to 741741

If your needs are still timely, but not as urgent — TalkSpace has options for every need and a shorter wait time, while it may not be a long term fix for some, it can still be an option in the short-term. They have individual therapy, couples therapy, and psychiatrist.

IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A LONGTERM OPTION AND HAVE THE TIME TO DATE AROUND

If you fall into this bucket, I used to suggest first starting by listing out therapists that are near your office. For most people, pre-pandemic, it made sense. The office is where most people would commute to and from the most during the week and if therapy was too far out of the way from work there was a greater likelihood that you wouldn’t end up going. Now, the criteria that is important has shifted.

Instead of looking for a therapist that is close to your home, you can prioritize:

• A therapist that aligns with your own main identifier (if it plays a role in your mental health journey). For example, my therapist is Latina. I scheduled an appointment with her years ago when she was my designated Medicaid therapist at the clinic I went to. I had little room to choose, but just got really really lucky that she happened to be Latina and understood my lived experiences. Now, I see it as one of the most pivotal reasons as to why I’ve been able to be so honest with her. Take some time to think about how you identify and whether it’s relevant to find a therapist who will understand your identity, either because they’re well-versed or have personal lived experience.

• A therapist who can “meet” in a way that makes sense for you. I think it’ll still be another year, at least, that we’ll be back in offices to meet with therapists on a weekly or regular basis. But what pandemic time has taught me is that it’s key to think about your scheduling needs when booking a therapist, especially if you’re just starting now. For so many individuals, taking therapy at home isn’t an option or a safe option. Whether because the space is too small and they can be overheard (and potentially reprimanded for what they’re saying) or because they simply want to keep that part of their life private. Asking potential therapists questions like — would you be okay with me taking these calls on a walk? how flexible is your schedule and your session requirements?

• A therapist that’s focused on the stage of life you’re in. Many of us have become different people in the last year. Whether you’re at the heels of becoming a parent or mourning the loss of a loved one or simply transitioning in your career, all of these are big changes that a therapist can help you navigate. Finding someone with an eye for grief, parenthood, or career changes could be helpful.

QUESTIONS TO ASK WHEN DATING AROUND

Finding a therapist is like finding a romantic partner — you need to date around for a while first. Here are some questions to keep in your back pocket as you’re looking:

• Do you take my health insurance?

• Do you offer a scale payment option? (if you’re paying out of pocket)

• Do you have a plan with when you’ll be returning into the office? (where is your office?)

• Will you still offer virtual visits even after you start taking patients in office again?

• Will you have a vaccine requirement for in person visits? (This is especially relevant if you have a chronic illness and want to make sure you’re not exposed by other patients)

• Tell me more about your therapy style

• Do you only have specific days/times open right now or is your schedule flexible?

While this post doesn’t touch on every single aspect of what finding a new therapist can look like, it is a place to start.