How To Make The Most Of Virtual Therapy Sessions

My therapist’s office is in a Brooklyn brownstone. I have to walk through tree lined streets to get to the first floor nook. There’s a big leather couch and a dimly lit room that sets the mood for me to feel safe from the minute I walk in. 

Three weeks ago we moved to over the phone sessions, right as New York City issued its stay-at-home mandate, and while my apartment is a beautiful safe haven, it is no Brooklyn therapy office. Each week I’ve had to figure out how to best create a space for myself to take the calls and feel the feelings. Censoring myself during this pandemic and at-home therapy sessions wasn’t going to be to anyone’s benefit. 

I worked to narrow in on the aspects of my regular therapy sessions that I could bring into my home, but also wanted to make therapy from home feel like a unique experience and not just a tolerable one. 

I started with what I did know. 

White Noise 

My therapist has a white noise machine in her waiting room that I only notice because I’m afraid I’ll knock into it when I walk in the door. I didn’t realize that it was such an essential part of the privacy I felt during my sessions until I started having sessions in a one-bedroom apartment with my boyfriend on the other side of the wall. Therapy is a time when I’m completely uncensored and the benefit to having white noise in the background helps me feel like I can still keep that honesty in play. 

My hack has been playing this youtube video on the bedroom TV every time I have therapy. It’s reminiscent of Brooklyn, but also helps turn my own room into a safe, therapy haven. 

Same time, same place

My therapy sessions are at the same time on Monday as they’ve always been. My therapist was adamant that keeping the same time would help this feel like less of a shift and she was right. If you can, try to keep your regularly scheduled meeting. It’ll help it all feel less foreign. The same place part is the variable that changes. Technically, I’m not going to the same place I regularly have gone to, but I am making a habit of going to the same place I can go to now. 

I take my sessions in my bedroom, nestled between my pillows, with my headphones on, every single Monday. Knowing I have somewhere to go to that is consistent helps with getting me into the therapy mindset.  

“Going” to therapy

This is going to read as silly, but I “go” to therapy every Monday. I get up from my couch, shut off my computer, use the bathroom, and then close the door to the bedroom and settle in for the session. Taking 10 minutes before my therapy session to switch off from work and into my time with my therapist makes sure that the following hour will be what it needs to be for me. 

This is especially important because all of our worlds are colliding in the same square footage of our homes — work, therapy, life. We can’t technically escape elsewhere, so we have to work double time to make the mental shifts. 

Reset time 

For this same reason, I don’t do any work immediately after therapy. Usually I’ll have my 30-minute commute home to transition out of all of my thoughts and get back into my day, but now I have to be intentional about giving myself that time. My boyfriend has suddenly met the “Reset after therapy” version of me when I just lay down with my eyes closed on the rug or am quiet and slowly rebuilding thereafter. It’s strange for us both for me to have to do this at home. I know right now we don’t all have the luxury of taking an hour to reset, but even five minutes of dedicated time to yourself will help bridge you back to your day more effectively. 

I’ve added what is very at-home specific.

A sweater or a blanket. 

My therapist always manages to have the perfect temperature in her office, the same cannot be said for our apartment or me. I run hot or cold endlessly and it’s on the list of things that can easily distract me from the task at hand. Having a sweater next to me makes sure I don’t snap out of my flow once I’m in it. 

Charge your phone and headphones

This seems so apparent, but twice already I’ve gone to start therapy only to realize my AirPods aren’t charged enough for a call. It’s something I didn’t have to worry about when I was able to go to a session, but it’s now become necessary to make sure this is a part of my Monday checklist. 

Have an honest conversation with your partner or roommate

We’re all navigating this for the first time and that means having to have honest conversations around boundaries and needs. My boyfriend has never had to see me through all the various emotional stages I go through before, during, and after therapy. Being honest about the fact that it takes me a minute to snap out of therapy means he won’t take it personally when I’m quieter afterwards. 

I’d love to hear what’s been helping you if you’ve switched to at-home therapy sessions! Let me know down below.