I Tried The Modern Fertility Test
I’ve never been more afraid to get results back from a test. Let’s just start there. I also didn’t decide until after I got my results back that I would share that I took a fertility test in the first place.
Because I know conversations around fertility can be layered and triggering, I want to share upfront where I’m coming from, so that you can close the tab if this isn’t for you.
We are not TTC (actively trying to conceive). I am 28 years old and I took the test to get an understanding of my body’s resting state. I’ve never been pregnant previously. I’ve lately had some complicated conversations with myself around if motherhood was even for me. Taking the test had less to do with my relationship with my boyfriend and more about my relationship to myself and trying to figure out what I wanted for myself.
Okay, now that I’ve given you a sense of where I’m coming from — here’s my experience trying a fertility test.
Modern Fertility must have a great IG-paid ads strategy because for the last few months all I’ve been getting served are reassuring words about how wonderful it is to have more information about your fertility.
Those ads, plus a few random instances of seeing other people my age share about their results, got the wheels turning in my head. I had the Modern Fertility hormone test in my shopping cart for months before I decided to commit $140 and my sanity to 10 days of waiting to answer some really big questions.
I didn’t tell anyone I had ordered the kit until I felt it was necessary or comfortable for me to do so. My boyfriend found out on the day it was delivered because he was on his way to get the mail and I knew he would see it, so I nonchalantly mentioned that I had jumped in the deep end and finally ordered the kit. My therapist found out once I’d already sent out my blood sample.
I kept the process close to my chest for a couple of reasons. Top of which is I was working on the bad self-talk in my head and needed to do that alone first. I’d put a ton of pressure on the results and it took me a while to figure out why.
I grew up believing that I would have a hard time conceiving (or overall being perceived as a “grown up woman”) because of how petite and thin I was. Even though I’ve spent the last few years working through my disordered eating patterns, there are still wounds left to unpack. And not only have I had a hard time seeing myself pregnant, but I’ve pushed thoughts of motherhood away because of my own relationship with my mom. My mom’s passing when I was so young meant I always wanted a mom, now that I’m at a point where “motherhood?” is a question I ask of myself, I wonder if it’s something I’d even know how to do.
Over the years I’ve learned that one of the best things I can do for myself whenever I have spiraling anxious thoughts is gather fact-driven information, instead of anxiety-induced opinions. So ultimately for me, taking the Modern Fertility test was both a physical health and a mental health choice. I wanted to have more information to work with when it came to pregnancy and motherhood — and whether they were options for me.
The test itself
The Modern Fertility Test is a more cost-effective alternative to going to a doctor to get your hormones tested. It’s also a more intimate, “don’t have to leave my home” alternative.
Because I didn’t think I was going to share about this process, I didn’t take any pictures of the kit itself, but their site is a good resource for visuals. On my end, I can confirm it comes with two of all the important stuff (in case you mess up when getting your blood sample). There’s a video tutorial on how to prick your finger and step-by-step guide on how to do it. I found the blood sample aspect to be the easiest part. I was done within 20 minutes and after 1-hour of waiting for my sample to dry I was able to put it in the mail.
I waited about a week, and had to follow up via email once to confirm that they had actually received my test, for them to get back to me that I should expect my results the following Tuesday.
Getting the test and results
While taking the test was pretty easy, receiving the test in the mail was pretty emotional. All of those limiting beliefs I held about myself were a postcard size box away from being answered and that felt pretty scary for me. The fear and anxiety and “I wonder what I’ll do if…” thoughts were also present during the waiting. Once I got the email in my inbox prompting me to check the website for my results, I felt my heartbeat speed up.
Because I’m on birth control I can only have 2 hormone levels tested (if you’re not on birth control they can test about 7). Alongside your results Modern Fertility does an amazing job of setting your expectations accordingly. The results are a starting point to understanding your fertility journey, they are not a guarantee or a sentence. They offer a printout of your results that you can take to your OB/GYN to discuss. They also offer an appointment with a nurse who can help you understand the results further if you need it.
For me, the readout of my results helped me answer the two questions I was sitting with around pregnancy and motherhood. I’ll keep the specifics of my results to myself, but basically for my age group I’m average. This doesn’t mean I will get pregnant the first month I start trying or that I won’t have trouble along the way, but it does mean that my egg reserve seemed pretty on par for a 28-year-old’s.
This was comforting information and helped me put in to context that my next steps are really up to me — primarily, do I want to let things play out as they will or do I want to research egg freezing if I don’t see myself wanting children anytime soon.
On the question of motherhood, the entire process (not just the results) is what clarified a lot for me. I was afraid that the results would tell me I couldn’t have a baby. I sat with that fact for two weeks and two therapy sessions. If I was this afraid that I wouldn’t have the option then maybe what I wanted more than anything was the option. I admitted to myself that I was scared I would never get to see a little person with a mix of our physical characteristics teaching us about what kind of personality you get when you combine two passionate, stubborn, corny humans who love in very deep ways.
I don’t want to belittle the results — I feel empowered knowing this information about my own body and think we should all be afforded the ability to know this about ourselves. I just want to also add that because the results are so outside of my realm of control, I focused on what the process itself was teaching me and how it impacted my vision of the future.
As a Latina, who grew up in a Catholic household, is not married or traditional in any sense really, I know I’m breaking the mold even just speaking about the idea of learning more about your fertility. I decided to write about it for those exact reasons. I never felt empowered to learn more about my own body when I was growing up, it messed with my idea of sexuality, independence and apparently motherhood. The only way we can rewrite our relationships with ourselves is to set forth a process that helps us rewrite it.
For me taking this test did just that.
This post was not sponsored. I paid for my own test and did this prompted by my own motivations.
But when you sign up for the test you get a $20 referral code. Full disclosure: I get $20 credit to use on MF for anyone who uses my code. I don’t see myself buying anything else there until next year when I test hormones again. But please feel free to use my code if you’d like to take $20 off the kit price: http://rwrd.io/ixjqdf8?c