Posts in blog
How COVID Should Change How You Look For A Therapist
How COVID Should Change How You Look For A Therapist

I’ve earned a reputation as the person in my circle that people come to when they want to figure out how to find a therapist. I wrote a blog post years ago that has a ton of tips around finding a therapist and what the “dating” during those beginning stages can look like. It’s been my cheatsheet link I send to friends, but it’s also been a super helpful resource that others have come across and used as they figure out starting therapy for the first time or restarting therapy after a long time.

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An Unspoken Grief Trigger: The Changing Of Seasons
An Unspoken Grief Trigger: The Changing Of Seasons

It’s been almost 20 years since I first noticed how changing seasons affect my grief. My mom died in January 2003 and the transition of the season from winter to spring made me sad. It felt like I’d left her in the winter and would never get her back. It may seem silly to anyone who hasn’t lost someone personally, or who isn’t triggered by changing weather patterns, but for those of us who are, it’s subtle but real.

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Figuring Out A Schedule When Working From Home
Figuring Out A Schedule When Working From Home

Recently I published a piece on how having a good morning has very little to do with your morning routine and way more to do with setting yourself up for success. Morning routines and daily or weekly schedules are very similar. In order to ace them, you need to pay attention to your unique needs instead of trying to fit yourself into a one-size-fits-all approach.

As more of us continue to work solely from home, especially as COVID variants become more prevalent, there are a couple of shifts that you can start making today, if finding the right schedule for you has felt impossible.

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blog, creativity, personal growthVivian Nunezencouragement, creativity, personal growthComment
Getting Off The Anxiety Treadmill
Getting Off The Anxiety Treadmill

Starting to explore my mental health years ago was a humbling experience. I was a novice. Yeah, I’d learned the alphabet in grade school and with it I was taught to piece together sentences around subjects like biology, history, and every day conversations, but I was never taught the alphabet or dictionary of words that I would need to describe the world that lived in my head. For a long time, it felt unfair. I had an entire experience I lived through daily and that impacted my world endlessly, but no way to tell others what it felt like or how much it actually shifted the trajectory of my day.

I had to learn to use colloquial words — elephant, chest, treadmill, alphabet soup — to build visuals in hopes someone would understand, in hopes someone would throw a life raft so I wouldn’t drown in the soup.

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blog, mental healthVivian Nunezanxiety, mental health, mental wellness, mental health tipsComment
Encouraging Field Notes #5
Encouraging Field Notes #5

We have a couch! Let’s start there. The journey to feeling settled in our new home has been more tumultuous for me than when we moved from NYC to Portland. There was something about Portland that freed me and something about moving back east that sacked me with more questions than answers.

“Wherever you go, there you are,” this is what my therapist tells me regularly and what I’ve been telling myself.

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Consider This Exercise The Next Time You Feel Like You've Abandoned Yourself
Consider This Exercise The Next Time You Feel Like You've Abandoned Yourself

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my twenties is that we abandon ourselves often. It’s human condition to do things like say “yes” when you meant “no” or ignore our gut when it’s screaming inside of us. I say “human condition” in order to take some of the weight off your shoulders — you aren’t the only one.

In fact, as early as last week, I had abandoned myself out of fear of rejection. Instead of expressing my needs explicitly I wordsmithed them so that the other party never even knew I was making a direct request. I made it seem like a suggestion, but I still internalized their rejection as a personal reaction to my ask.

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Tips If You’re Working On Your Creative Hustle This Weekend
Tips If You’re Working On Your Creative Hustle This Weekend

I’ve been feeling my creativity hit new levels lately and it’s felt so invigorating. I know that in addition to resting and family time, this weekend will be spent working through a few different creative hustles. The ones I’m focusing on — mapping out a course, a community platform, and prepping for a photoshoot next week — all fall into the category of creative hustle for me.

But whether you’re pursuing a hobby, a side hustle, or a passion project this weekend, I know weekends spent with your creativity can sometimes feel lonely. A big goal for my community member platform is to give us all a space to connect with others who also value creativity in similar ways. But in the meantime, I don’t want you to feel lonely or alone.

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blog, creativityVivian Nunezcreative, creative block, creativityComment
How I'm Protecting My Mental Health Amid More COVID Variant Cases
How I'm Protecting My Mental Health Amid More COVID Variant Cases

I’ve been thinking a lot about my mental health as COVID variants (like the Delta variant) have increased over the last few weeks. My mental health has been easily triggered since our move and while some of the triggers are things I can’t control (like a COVID outbreak), there are others I can (mostly my routines).

Since I got my vaccine back in April I’ve been treading lightly with my own re-entry into “regular” life or society. A big part of this is that we moved just two months after getting our vaccines, so we’ve been knee deep in adjusting to life back on the east coast anyway. But, an even bigger part is that I just wasn’t ready to commit 100% to regular life. I felt skeptical of whether others were taking their responsibility towards their community seriously or whether people were just really fed up with being home and needed to be out at all costs. While I can’t pinpoint other people’s motivations or know their vaccine status, I can control my own personal decisions, how I move in the world, and what I expect of myself.

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Encouraging Field Notes #4
Encouraging Field Notes #4

Let peace stay. These three words have been heavy on my mind lately and also hard to swallow. I had a lot of ideas of who I was and the kind of life I had to live and very few of those ideas were full of abundance and even less were full of peace. In working to challenge many of the limiting beliefs I have about myself, I had to answer the bigger question of “what do you do once you’ve challenged the lie?”

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blog, encouragement, creativityVivian Nunezencouragement, field notes, growth, personal growth, peace, peace of mindComment
4 Places To Turn When You Feel Like You Don’t Have Anyone To Talk To
4 Places To Turn When You Feel Like You Don’t Have Anyone To Talk To

It’s one thing to feel like you’re going through a hard time, it’s another completely different thing to feel like you’re going through that moment in time alone. Hard feelings tend to do this to us. They can lead to isolation or an “I’m the only one” mindset that makes it harder to see that there may be others who are working through the same things.

I’ve been there before and honestly find myself there sometimes now. Years ago I had that feeling surface when I lived through the loss of someone I loved, now I’m feeling it with our move. In these instances what has always helped me has been leaning on others. I don’t want answers or quick fixes, I just want to feel less lonely as I let time heal and show me the joy in right now. I also believe that it’s easier for us to see the power of our present moment when someone else who loves or cares for us holds up a mirror.

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blog, mental healthVivian Nunezmental health, support groups, grief groups, mental health supportComment
My August Mental Wellness Routine
My August Mental Wellness Routine

It has been a while since I’ve worked on one of these and I’ll admit that it’s because my mental wellness routine went out the window with our move. Since April I’ve been pulled between feeling incredibly overwhelmed and encouraging myself to try my best. Some days were better than others. I know through it all I ended up having to work through a lot of grief and overwhelming feelings that came with moving back.

Since my life changed so much so did my mental wellness routines. Naturally I went from having a ton of time to dedicate to my routines to not having much at all. The last few months actually inspired what will be my first month long course (look out for more on IG!) which will focus on embracing minimalism in your mental wellness routine.

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blog, mental healthVivian Nunezmental wellness, wellness routine, august mental wellness routine, yoga, waterComment
A Q+A With Rescued By Training On Dog Separation Anxiety
A Q+A With Rescued By Training On Dog Separation Anxiety

I’ve been sharing on Instagram recently that we started with a new dog trainer once we moved back east. We found Kate LaSala, founder of Rescued by Training, through our doggy daycare and since our first assessment she’s been our trustworthy guide.

The main mountain we’re looking to overcome right now is that Chauncey is not yet able to stay home alone. Any time we’ve tried over the last few months, he’s either completely panicked, whimpered, and cried, or he’s pooped himself out of pure fear. We’d tried all the methods — leaving him out of the crate, leaving him in the crate, leaving him with a kong, etc. Ultimately the only method that has shown results has been Kate’s.

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blog, wellness, lifestyleVivian Nunezdog trainingComment
Starting A Passion Project? Keep These Guardrails In Mind
Starting A Passion Project? Keep These Guardrails In Mind

I have specific pet peeves lately when it comes to how we talk about passion projects. An unpopular opinion I hold is that I don’t think every hobby or passion project needs to be a profitable side hustle. Our current economy makes it incredibly easy for you to take on side gigs in ways that earn you extra revenue and if that’s calling you, go get your bag and start your side business. I’ve done it and I find so much joy in it.

But I’ve also picked up hobbies and passion projects that don’t earn me anything financially, but have helped me immensely when it comes to bringing peace into my life, a coping mechanism for my mental health, or simply turned into a fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon. For instance, I’ve picked up a real interest in interior decorating over the last year. I’m reading the books. I’m subscribing to the sites that let me create 2D models of my living room. I’m living my best life spending hours looking through Target for the best finds. The hobby doesn’t help anyone other than me (and my boyfriend) and that’s okay.

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blog, creativityVivian Nunezcreativity, side hustle, passion projectComment
The Hardest Parts Of Puppy Separation Anxiety No One Tells You About
The Hardest Parts Of Puppy Separation Anxiety No One Tells You About

I’ve written three other posts about puppy separation anxiety and puppy blues since we got Chauncey a little over a year ago. The journey with his general anxiety and his separation anxiety have taken us on a rollercoaster that we were ill equipped to ride. Over the last few months especially, as we moved back east, it was apparent that we needed extra help.

Later this week I’ll be sharing a Q+A with our dog trainer and she answers some of the top questions you all had on the subject. I’m hoping both that post and this one (a bit more personal one) will help you through your puppy separation anxiety journey.

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blog, lifestyle, wellnessVivian Nunezpuppy, puppy separation anxiety, separation anxietyComment
Sticking To Therapy Even When It’s Boring Or Extra Hard
Sticking To Therapy Even When It’s Boring Or Extra Hard

I have been in therapy for the last 8 years. I go weekly, every Monday, and sit with her for 45-minutes. During some seasons of my life, I’ve texted her in the middle of the week for extra help or support because making it to the next Monday felt impossible. During other seasons of my life, Monday would come around and we’d talk about the happiest and most inconsequential moments of my life because that was all I had to report.

I’ve learned since starting that the reality with therapy is that not every session is an unpacking of wounds and not every session will be interesting. There will be many “boring” sessions where you’ll leave wondering if you should even still be in therapy. The feeling will feel similar to the times you’ve walked out from the hardest sessions and wondered if you should even be digging up those wounds.

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A Conversation With Rainesford Stauffer (Author of An Ordinary Age)
A Conversation With Rainesford Stauffer (Author of An Ordinary Age)

I’ve been thinking a lot about self-care and self-improvement this week. My mind has specifically gone to how we describe our life when it’s at its fullest or we’re at our most cared for. Do we call it complacency or do we see fulfillment? Are we constantly drawn by the promise of “more” simply because it’s deemed the antithesis of “settling” or is more actually what we’re after?

We all have different answers to those questions. If you pick up An Ordinary Age by Rainesford Stauffer you’ll be able to read some of them.

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blog, books, creativity, wellnessVivian Nunezbooks, goodreads, rainesford staufferComment
Encouraging Field Notes #3
Encouraging Field Notes #3

Who are you on the other side of realizing you should have done something differently? Whenever I feel caught (whether I’m “catching” myself or being “caught” by someone else) my knee jerk reaction is to hide in the corner of my mind where my ego lives. I feel small and get defensive. Over the years, I’ve learned that pausing does me better than any of the first words that I want to say or scream.

I’ve been thinking about this lately because I called myself out for the way I’d been moving through parts of my life. Instead of healing wounds or relationships, I was staying in the safe space that resentment and anger create for us. It’s like a small fortress that protects you from the hard memories or bad feelings, but also makes it impossible for anything good to enter. A lot of times when we’re living in that fortress we don’t need to be punished, we need to be encouraged and held.

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Keep These Tips In Mind When Setting Boundaries
Keep These Tips In Mind When Setting Boundaries

After a year or more of playing, living, and working where we lived, two things are true — we got better and worse at setting boundaries. We aced keeping to our bubbles and saying “no” to outings or day dates that could expose us to COVID. We got rusty though when it came to the blurry lines between work and life at home. I can admit I’ve struggled a ton with setting those boundaries for myself or respecting the boundaries my partner has set. So, I think we’re all do for a refresher course on boundary setting.

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blog, mental healthVivian Nunezboundaries, setting boundaries, mental wellness, productivityComment